


So Hanzo, Who Do You Have a Crush On?

by Cattailbow



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: 5+1 Things, 5+1 but basically like 4+1 lol, First Kiss, Fluff, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Humor, M/M, Unbeta'd, a lil bit of canon typical violence half way through, background anahardt/pharmercy, cameos by echo and winston, i think im funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26942056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cattailbow/pseuds/Cattailbow
Summary: 4+1 ways Genji bothers the living daylights out of hanzo by asking who his crush is
Relationships: Genji Shimada & Hanzo Shimada, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	So Hanzo, Who Do You Have a Crush On?

Hanzo Shimada was a man that relished silence as much as Genji relished his hotdogs during the annual Overwatch Cookout ™. Almost too much. But what was there not to relish about silence? The world was a cacophonous symphony of machinery, war, and Gatorade advertisements that popped out of what seemed like nowhere. Please quench someone else’s thirst, thank you. 

His deep admiration of silence is what motivated his deep admiration of meditation. And granted meditation was not always silent. With the practice being rooted in becoming present with oneself and accepting that thoughts come and go, meditation was like voluntarily surrounding yourself with memories of machinery and war. And those weren’t pleasant. To be surrounded by your failures and shortcomings, bloody missions and near-death escapes was harkening. The opposite of peaceful--cacophonous. But it was a tradeoff between cacophonous thoughts and Reinhardt, why is he eating so many hotdogs, this is not a competition, this is not--Hanzo takes a deep breath. 

This is not.

He exhales. 

This is.

This is how he spends his time when the world becomes too much. When perhaps dealing with people after not dealing with people for so long--this--becomes too much. He opens his eyes. 

“AH!” he screams. “GENJI. When did you get here? I am surely not as old to have missed the crunch of the grass as you climbed the hill.”

“Chyeah bro. That’s cool and stuff. Meditating?” Genji asks. He gets off the tree he had been perched on and lads in front of Hanzo before taking a seat. 

“For your information, yes. Meditating,” Hanzo replies. He regains his composure and gets back into his seiza. “Join me if you wish.”

Genji decides to sit criss cross applesauce because that was more his style, but powers down a bit as the wind blows in their direction.

Hm.

Hanzo closes his eyes and lets his senses take over, feeling the power of the sun’s rays hit the right side of his face. He inhales. Silence. Exhales. Silence. 

“So who do you have a crush on?” Genji asks him. 

Hanzo cracks an eye open and tries to stare Genji down. But Genji knew his brother was more bark than bite these days. 

Genji powers down. 

Hanzo closes his eyes again and lets his senses take over, feeling the way the wind rustles through the grass, careening between the blades. 

“So who do you have a crush on?” Genji asks him. 

Hanzo SCREAMS and it echoes, echoes, echoes. 

Echo.

Echo picks up a faint reading from Winston’s lab on base and turns her head in the direction of the noise. Winston, too used to the Shimada brothers’ constant bickering, waves it off. This was normal. 

==

Hanzo Shimada is minding his own business at 3:23AM after attempting to search a melon pan recipe on his hologram tablet, only to be accosted by advertisements from the energy drink company which shall not be named. He had since befriended all of Overwatch’s members but had not yet fully integrated himself into their social sphere. Hence the late night skulking in the community kitchenette for tea. Which, like silence, he relished. 

Hanzo yawns as he opens the cupboard and sees a jar of what looks like American instant coffee, and sneers as he shoves it to the side to look further into the cabinet. At least Ana had the culture to grind her coffee beans. Tracer had her English tea, luvs xx. Reinhardt had… usually whatever Ana was having, and quite frankly, Hanzo didn’t question it. Heterosexuals.

Anyways.

His tea was missing. 

But he didn’t think anyone had the palette to consume it intentionally. He opens a different cabinet. 

“AH!” Hanzo screams. “GENJI. When did you”--Hanzo starts whispering out of courtesy for everyone currently sleeping--”when did you get here? Why are you in this cabinet?”

Genji pops out of the cabinet and sets Hanzo’s tea on the kitchenette counter. 

“Hey bro,” Genji says. Hanzo swears his brother winks underneath the mask. “Nothing, can’t a grown man just chill in a small dark space in the middle of the night?”

Hanzo stares at him--all bark no bite--and swiftly snatches the tea box. He peers inside. As many tea bags as he had left it with. 

Fine.

“So….” Genji says in that American way, when they wanted to converse but about nothing meaningful. Hanzo immediately knows his brother had been spending too much with the cowboy. 

“Yes?” Hanzo asks. He sets a kettle on the burner and turns on the stove. 

“Sooooooooo…” Genji says again. A beat of silence. “So who do you have a crush on?” 

Hanzo silently takes the kettle off the stove, dumps the water in the sink, grabs an electric kettle from underneath the sink, and starts making his way towards his bunker with his mug. 

“Hey!” Genji calls out. Hanzo keeps walking. “Broski, you forgot to turn off the burner. What if this entire place set on fire? What if I set on fire? Rude. I’m already hot, man!”

Hanzo grumbles to himself all the way back to his room and shuts the door quietly. Out of respect for everyone sleeping. 

“Of course maybe my internal fan’s just broken… wait. Han. HAN.”

==

Hanzo Shimada is down to his last arrow and quite frankly, isn’t sure if they’re going to make it out alive. McCree is injured and in a fetal position behind him, desperately in need of transportation back to the Orca. They’re backed into a corner. The roof of the building is on fire and quite frankly, Hanzo isn’t sure they’re going to make it out alive. (Repeated for dramatic effect). 

This mission was supposed to be extremely simple. In and out. But somewhere along the way they had attracted more attention than planned, and it was all going to shit. Everyone else had made it back to safety. But not them.

He feels a deep thunder coming from his chest which travels down his arms and feels the air ionize as he becomes brim with static energy. Ryuu ga waga--he aims his arrow right into the pit of Talon agents approaching their position--teki wo kurau. 

It sets off an explosion of light which was enough to blind anyone with half a mind. He can feel the building creak as the dragons, hungry for destruction, chew through the metal beams and souls of the relentless enemies. He hoists McCree up and the two make way to the emergency exit, and Hanzo only hopes they’re fast enough. 

He hears the cracks and clicking of the building as it starts to come down, they take shelter before it all goes dark. 

“Han,” McCree groans. “Han, hey.”

The next time Hanzo wakes up, he’s in MedBay on a stretcher. He had successfully shielded McCree from further damage. They had been rescued in time. He doesn’t know how, but he almost doesn’t care. 

“McCree. Yes,” Hanzo replies. He twitches as he feels his head bandaged with gauze. 

“Don’t be so fucking stupid, pardner,” McCree scolds him. “But thanks.”

Hanzo looks over and sees that McCree is strapped up to some machine or other, but is only glad that he was able to act fast enough. 

“I will take that into consideration,” Hanzo feels himself smile. He shakes his head before realizing it hurts a bit, and frowns at the ceiling. Stupid, stupid.

“Glad you’re safe,” Hanzo faintly catches out of the corner of his year.  
Hanzo turns towards McCree one more time and sees that the man was now asleep. There were a few new bullet holes through his stetson though, it was almost comical how he wouldn’t just get a new hat. Or take it off for that mattered.

McCree looked calm though. Almost sweet and harmless, he had never hurt ‘nobody’. His armor completely removed and a new scar forming on his right bicep. His face wiped down of any blood or sweat, but his hair dusty with debris and his torso bruised from today’s previous altercations with the enemy. And a slight grin. 

Genji gives a low whistle. 

Hanzo carefully sits up in his stretcher but doesn’t see anyone. Genji pops out from behind the MedBay curtain.

“Ah,” Hanzo says. This time eerily calm in a way Genji hadn’t seen in a while. “Genji. When did you get here.” 

Genji points at himself like a mischievous child who knew no such things as boundaries. 

“Me?” he asks, feigning ignorance. “Hey, don’t look at me like I want to be here. I just woke up from my nap, Mercy put me on watch duty while she helps Pharah out. Except she hasn’t been out of the check-up room in a few hours, I think? I have no goddamn idea what they’re up to.” 

Hanzo sighs. 

“So,” Genji starts. 

Hanzo puts a hand up in the air as he prepares himself. 

“Yes,” Hanzo says. Collected. Hand down.

“So who do you have a crush on?” Genji asks him.

Hanzo stares at him and breaks down crying.

==

Hanzo Shimada is patiently waiting in Torbjorn’s office. His mechanical boots had gone on the fritz since the last mission, and were in need of repair. 

It was silent.

Just how he liked it. 

There’s a noise up above him in the vents.

“Ah,” Hanzo groans. He makes a mental note to contact Winston about potential property damage to the ventilation system later.

“Bro-mada, what’s up?” Genji greets him. The cyborg drops from the ceiling like a vampire and lands on his two feet. He takes off his mask, now cracked, and places it on Torb’s workbench to be processed next. Torbjorn grumbles and presses a few buttons on his calculator. 

“Where did you come from?” Hanzo asks. 

“Nowhere. So I know that you know that I know that you know that I know”--

“Out with it.”

“Do you really want me to ask in front of Torb?”

Hanzo scowls and gets out of his chair. He wobbles a little as he adjusts to standing on his own two feet, but then takes Genji by the arm and leads them both out of the workshop. 

Torbjorn takes the opportunity to test out Hanzo’s boots, and starts scaling one of the walls. Poggers.

“Why must you torment me?” Hanzo asks. 

Hanzo guides them through a door to the outside world, and the wind hits them. 

“Bro… can’t I just ask ‘cause I wanna know?” Genji frows. “:(.”

“Excuse me, but did you just say colon, parenthesis, period?” Hanzo asks. “What is wrong with you?” 

“You can tell me!! Scout’s honor!!”

Hanzo lets his brother go and looks out at his surroundings. It’s a brilliant day, too bad Genji has an MBA in Sibling Pestering and Chugging Mountain Dew. 

“You and I both know that you cannot keep a secret,” Hanzo says finally. He crosses his arms in a broody vampire teen sort of way.

“So who do you have a crush on?”

“I regret letting you live.”

==

Hanzo Shimada is sitting outside with Jesse McCree in the is-this-a-date-or-just-friends-because-we’re-both-gay-and-know-you-know-this-too sort of way. 

“Hey Han, got you somethin’,” McCree says. He takes out a small box with a sticker from a Japanese bakery Hanzo has seen before. 

“For me?” Hanzo replies. He takes the box and he feels suddenly aware of how full his heart has become over the months--it felt like ages--of knowing McCree had become. The glances they would give each other when Genji was doing something stupid. Reminiscing on almost failed missions. Skirting the reality that perhaps they had developed a bond that was almost so cherished, it should never be spoken of. Bumping shoulders when they were both in the kitchen sometimes, comparing beverage preferences. 

Hanzo thinks about all of this of course. But he settles on simplicity.

“Thank you.” He opens the box and it contains this delicately baked melon pan. 

“Oh this is,” Hanzo starts. He clears his throat. “How did you know?”

“Oh, uh,” McCree stutters. He scratches under his hat and looks the other day. “Just a hunch. Remember the last time you went on a mission to Japan. Fareeha said you were looking at this cake with such hunger, she was ‘fraid you were gonna raid the store.”

Hanzo laughs at that.

“Course, I didn’t have the time to ask for a cake when I was there yesterday so, uh, bought you something simple instead. Sorry.” McCree tips his hat. 

“That is quite alright, Jesse. This is wonderf--AH!” Hanzo practically jumps out of his seat. “GENJI.”

Hanzo feels himself about to start hyperventilating. McCree doesn’t know what the hell is going on. 

“Dearest brother, Genji,” Hanzo says while gritting his teeth. “Whenever did you decide to grace us with your presence?”

“Sup man,” Genji says as he fist bumps his good old pal McCree. He turns to Hanzo. “Can’t a guy just”--

“No”, Hanzo says. Angry. “I have had it up to my ears and beyond with your pestering. I cannot understand why you would be so UNDIGNIFIED as to constantly be APPEARING in front of me like THIS.”

“Hey there,” McCree interjects, trying to diffuse the situation. “Maybe Genji just wants to spend time with us?”

“Nah,” Genji says. “Just wanted to annoy the crap out of my brother.” 

Hanzo wants to scream.

“So like either of you have any Gatorade ‘cause, like, I’m parched?” Genji says. He bats his eyelashes through his mask despite knowing neither of his pals can see. It’s about the Dramatics™.

McCree rummages through the cooler and tosses him one. 

Genji says thanks and starts chugging like a college student despite never having gone to college. 

“I know what you want,” Hanzo says. About to unleash his fury. 

“What?” Genji asks him. 

“Do not play stupid with me. So perhaps you’ve noticed it. Perhaps you’ve noticed my affection for Jesse Mc”--

“MCCARTNEY? JESSE MCCARTNEY? BRO. Omfg. I FUCKING knew it!”

Hanzo feels the blood drain from his face. McCree starts laughing and covers his eyes with the brim of his hat. 

“Genji,” Hanzo says. “No.”

“Don’t lie, I know you used to collect McCartney CDs when we were younger,” Genji says triumphantly. “Remember how our dad was confused by your immediate taste in American culture at the age of like 12? Anyways sorry for bugging you this whole time, I just wanted you to say it. Pay backsies, haha! Got you.”

Hanzo grits his teeth. 

Genji laughs.

Hanzo grits his teeth and starts laughing too. But a chuckle at first. Really nice. But iit morphs into something with a hint of diabolical and broken. Emphasis on the broken. And evil. But mostly broken. Not a normal laugh.

“Jesse,” Hanzo says in a sweet melodic voice. He take a seat next to the man and gently grabs him by the collar. 

“Oh?” Jesse whispers. “Are you angry at me for some reason too or are you gonna kiss me.”

Hanzo looks at him like a bloodthirsty werewolf. Jesse utters a small ‘ah’.

“Well,” Jesse says. “Just in case you’re angry I’m gonna hafta ask you why, so we can talk ‘bout it maybe like a couple of emotionally intelligent folk. If you’re gonna kiss me like I think ya are, you have permission, I guess I just never did expect you to do this so soon and I”--

It’s sweet like a piece of handmade candy. Hanzo presses a rather innocent kiss on Jesse’s lips and feels the faint scratch of his beard before pushing the man down against the picnic blanket and biting his lower lip hard enough to almost draw blood.

Genji SCREAMS, and it echoes, echoes, echoes. 

Echo. 

Echo picks up a faint reading from Winston’s lab on base and turns her head in the direction of the noise. Winston, too used to the Shimada brothers’ constant bickering, waves it off. This was normal.

**Author's Note:**

> found the jesse mccartney joke in an old journal i had today and thought i would be doing a public disservice by not posting it lol


End file.
